wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
