If i come over, it means nothing
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
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