just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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