long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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