wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
