Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
