remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
