Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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