I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
