do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
