Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
