Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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