dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
