my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Randomize
