It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
