is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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