I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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