69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
