Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
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