i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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