Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Your penis caused this!
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