seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
