I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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