What a fucking waste of an outfit
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
