he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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