whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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