I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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