its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
