Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I'm gonna have a badass scar
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
