I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
