I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
