Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
