my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
