i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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