Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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