What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
he fucked my hip out of place.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
