Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
