and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
