How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
