did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
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