he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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