Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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