we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
