We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
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