My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
