i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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