Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
