it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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