i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
