He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Houston, we have a squirter
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
