Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize
