Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
